Hyderabadi Shaadi: Part-11.2-cover

Hyderabadi Shaadi: Part-11.2

Continuation from Hyderabadi Shaadi: Part-11.1

PART-11.2 : SHAADI

NIKAH AUR SHAADI KHAANE KA ANKHON DEKHA HAAL

Dulhe k car ku shaadi khane se thoda nazdeek rok k phir shuru kardete band. Ab woh marfe ki awaaaz pe dulhan b dil hi dil me abbuck jubbuck abbuck jubbuk blke awazan karlete rehti. Woh sunke bazu baithe so dulhan k amma koni marte aur chup baith kya kabootar k jaisa awazan nikalri bolte. Amma ki koni khake ab dulhan b dard hua to bardasht karleti video wala dekhra bolke.

Video lena b ek art hai, Video wale dulha dulhan se pehle ajate aur phir shaadi khaane ka naam ku 2 min tk ghoore jaisa udharich rok dete video phir andar ghuste. Khair baraat gate se thodi door pe rok dete. Phir woich jungli chaale shuru. Baaz dulhe k dostan ankhan bade karke aisa yeh badi zabaan nikal k naachte naachte video me ghuste rehte,

shaadi k baad video dekha to dulha dosti tod dena woh dost se. Yaha pe ab thode SAFARI UNCLES rehte. Surat to aisi jaisa sehri me 5 min hi bakhi hai bolke ammi darake uthaye baad dekhe to abhi 2 ghante hai jaisi ghusse wali banake rehte. Ab woh gusse ki do wajah rehti ek to yeh k unu 7 baje se aake baithewe hai NIKAH after maghrib bole the bolke lolzzz ankul, aur dusri ya to unku SAFARI tight hogai aur dam ghutra.

Khair dulhe k saaliyan inu unu zanana b aake agar ladies section first floor pe hai to upar se jhaankte nai agar ground floor pe hi hai to poora parking me aake marfa dekhte rehte. Ab thode semi motebar uncles rehte jo na to poore se shadi khane me rehte aur na poore se baraat me marfe pe unke b taanga naachte rehte bt welcome me nana patekar control uday control bole jaisa unu b control shareef bhai control bollete rehte apne aap ku aur aisa mauqa mauqa bolke dekhte rehte kon to b baraat me se aake unku kheech k leke jaana aur nai nai nakko nakko bolke phr inu inka item song pesh karna.

Khair koi ek unki pehchanat wala naachte naachte inku dekhleta aur ab kheech k laata inu b acting karte nai aane ki aur unku bulane aaya so wala b lite leke wapas naachne ku chale jate rehta, ulta inu usku pakad lete ab areey aap bolre to chaliye bolke. Jaisa unki entry hoti sob logan door hatke gol ghera banalete kya kiraak item pesh karte ki unu bolke,

uncle rehte peth b niklawa rehte upar se bechare show pesh karke apan logan shaadi me gaye so AUTO k kiraaye k paise wasool karadete. Uncle ka dance formula yeh rehta

HIP HOP + MARFA + GANESH DANCE + LUNGI DANCE+ BONAL BATHKAMMA = UNCLE KA DANCE

Last me NAAGIN DANCE shuru karte yeh uncle aur woh dance dekhe to NAAGIN FILM ki SRI DEVI b ukkud baithke boring se paani bharna yeh ankul k saamne. Dance me hi malum hojata kon kitta khaabil hai so Aur thode logon ka profession unke dance me maloom hojata. Ek uncle khali haathan aage piche aage piche karke kheech maarte rehte inu kya hai bole to unka gulzar houz me patango ka karobar hai.

Aur ek jane paira chalate hue haath aage bade rehte inu kya hai bole to tailor hai aur ek uncle cross naachte rehte inu kya hai bole to autowale hai cross baithne ki adat hai aur ek jane raat me kaala chashma lagake naachre kya bole to unu welder hai. Khair sab hoke ab car gate k andar aati to dulhe k saale usku roklete aur waha b andar nai aane dete paise diyo aane dete bolke satate,

dulha b dil me sochleta bete video wala dekhra isliye deraun nai to ya se woich car me wapas chalegaya to malum hona tumlogon ku aur tumhare aapa ku. Khair andar aate aur ek dum se sherwani pehanke tez activa ya chetak pe koi bhagaa lete aate dekhe to qazi sahab rehte jaldi nikah padake phir tahajjud me dusre nikah me jana rehta unku jaldi jaldi nikah pada dete dulhe wale me se koi misri badam uchaalte.

Usme me baaz logan kon to b door k khalu ya phuppa se nai banti thi to yeich mauqa hai bolke taak taak k misri phek k naak phod k unlogon ku khoona khoon krdeke badla b lelete. Samne baithe so uncles ku maaran padjate kisi ki pishani phut jati kisi ka chashma tootjata. Unlogan baad me mile to aisa dikhta dawat me se nai jung ladke aare. Baithe so uncles b bache banjaate aur jhuk jhuk k udi pad pad k lot lot k pairon haathon me aate rehte thodon k ungliyan b kuchle jaate dekhe to ek misri chunke nikalte unu niche se utta karke.

Ek uncle lite mote rehte kursi k niche misri chunne ghuste phasjate kursi atak jaati, ab waha se unka chota potra dekh k ayi dada chuppam chuppi khelre shayad bolke pehli bolke pakadlete phr utte me dusre bazu se unkaich nawasa dippa dippa bolke nikalta. Khair Ab sob logon ki nazar woh kone me dere pe rehti kab hatta ki bolke, kursiyan kone kone pe hataleke nazdeek nazdeek daal leke baithte.

Baithte ki phr politics k baatan shuru. Haao woh obama khara tha so hari boot maich diya tha usku haule ku chilne b nai aara tha poore rakh rakh k peele karliya, areeey woh elizabeth hai nai une to parson hamare bhanji k aqeeqe me aayi thi aisa baatan chalte rehte den suddenly d 3 GOLDEN WORDS r heard jiske baad sab mahol me hulchul mach jaati maano koi dhamaka hua ho those 3 magical words are,

“AAIYE BHAI CHALIYE !”

Ab dulhan walon ka intezam hai to dulhan wale hi unke logon k liye thode kursiyan ulte daaldeke seat pakad lete. Thode logan nai malum so aake table k gol gol ringa ringa roses bolke phirna shuru kardete unlogan b woh ulte kursiyan dekhte ki musical chairs hai jeete to khana milta shayad sochlete aur khelna shuru kardete. Unku rukake puche kya hua bhai kaiku itta gol gol phirre chakkar aayinga na bole to bolte yeh musical chair khelke jeete to hi khana milta shayad na wohi samjhke gol gol phirre bolte.

Baaz ku seat nai milti khane ki to seedha waha se unu izzat bachane bawarchi khaane me ghusjaate phr haleem k degche ke gol phirke ek chakkar maarke phr dining hall me wapas aake uth uth k mundi uthaake dekhte kisku to b dhunde jaisa acting karte phir hallu jeb me se fone nikal k msgs kare jaisa karke 2 min andar tables k paas hi ruk k fone aaya jaisa fone kaan ku lagake baat karlete karlete hallu stage k piche se seedha parking me dikhte. Dekhe so wale yeh smjhna usku seat b mili magar fone ki wajah se bichara nai khake bahar agaya.

Yeh harkat kone me pani k filter k paas baithe so ek chicha notice krte rehte aur dil hi dil me hasleke bolte jaao jaaao abbi 2 min pehle meku b aisich ek fone aaya tha usi ki wajah se to main yaha aake kon me chupke baithgaya :'( Khair khaleke aaye baad haath dhone se b zyada imp kaam rehta khaane me khamiyan nikalna nai to hazam nai hota, baaz to ministers se b zyada bzy milna milana kuch nai peth ku lagalete ki seedha parking me gadi jhuka k start krte hue dikhte,

unka bas chale to haath b jhoota leleke ghar ku jaake dholene ku kam nai utte bzy hai to aayeich kaiku ki samjh me nai aata. Anyways ladies me itta udi nai padte kon b poore dieting bibis rehte blke suna main don’t knw andar kya dehshat ka naach hota real me :p bt thoda bht maaram peeti to waha b hoti hogi nai to chupich baalan bikhar k liner kallon tak phail k make up kharab nai hota kiska bhi.

Khair 2-3 dastar k baad dulhe ku video wala dam karna shuru kardeta piche ek parda bandhke ek se ek pose diyo bolte rehta aur seedha Hyd se Switzerland baraf me leke chale jata aur pix lete jaate rehta. Ladies me b waisich krne jaata bt dulhan chup bithadeti huh -_- tumaku nai aata ji aisa lete bolke shuru hojati ek se ek suratan banana. Ek dum video wala b pareshan dulhan k amma behno ku bula leta darke aapki bachi ku khundla hua shayad kaise kaise ki kaaman karri kya kya ki bataq (duck) k muh banari dopahar me bataq (duck) khaayi thi kya bolke ?

Dulhe k amma b aake dekh k dhaayein dhaayein rona shuru kardete pareshan hoke aur dulhan k behan ku puchte aapi ku dopahar me beauty parlour leke gaye jb kundi me se nange pair leke gayi thi kya bolke :'( Dulhan ki behan b bhaag k aati Ailleyyy dulhan ku kya ki hogaya bolke poore bhaag k aake dekhe to dulhan POUT krte rehti -_- Phir dulhan k amma behna to d video wala b like ” TAKE A CHILL PILL MAN, JST RELAX” hmlogon ku to ab adat hogai tum b dallo aur nausha ku b dallo bolo. Khair ab phir dulhan aur dulhe ku kon to b haath pakad k khane ku leke chale jate.

***** SHAADI KHANE KA BACHA SO KHANE LEKE JAATE SO AND PHOOL MITHAI TO BE CONTINUED IN PART-3 OF SHAADI ****

***** TO BE CONTINUED *****
[Credits : Jeelani Kiraak Autowala]

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